Finding Serenity during Chaotic Happy Holidays.

So here we are at Christmas and next week New Years, a time to look back, look forward and be present in the joy of this season.

But, how do we do that and maintain our serenity?  It's a definite conundrum.  So let's think about this.  How about the following ideas:

When looking back over the past year keep your focus on what went well in your life - I know that mine included a wedding (my daughter and her new husband-now my son-in-law), completion of the renovations on my home, parties with my friends and family, and trips to destinations I always wanted to visit.

Yes, when I look back there were also some harsher moments, moments that I will remember but I cannot allow them to negatively affect me as I go forward into the new year.  These moments shape me but should not define me, they must be relegated to memories of the past, a past that I can let go of as the new year rapidly approaches.  I know that by looking forward this way I will be able to maintain my serenity.

In the present there is nothing but joy, happiness and beauty if you allow it in.  I personally love seeing all the houses in my neighborhood lit up, I love the smell of a live pine tree, I love delivering presents to my neighbors, going to the parties, conversations, sending out season's greetings cards and of course all the eating.  What's not to love?

And looking to the future - well who know's what 2016 will bring?  I look forward to pursuing new relationships, new directions for the nonprofit I work with, losing a few pounds, pushing myself to be in better physical shape, enjoying the life that surrounds me and enjoying the serenity in knowing that I can find my own joy each day.

Yesterday at a breakfast meeting Santa showed up and I couldn't help myself from bubbling up with laughter and smiles as I watched the children and the adults around me interacting with the jolly old guy.  Having Santa so close by me just simply filled me with joy as I had my picture snapped by a friend.  When I posted the photo someone asked me what I asked Santa for and jokingly I said, "Peace on Earth isn't that what everyone(adult) is supposed to ask for?", but in actuality I didn't ask for anything I just sat there smiling and laughing and enjoying the moment, because that is what the holiday season is really about, I think.

Finding Serenity is all about finding the belief in yourself that you can locate joy in things and the people that surround you, even the people who can't locate joy themselves can have someone like you in their lives who can find joy and serenity in each day.

A very joyful, fun-filled holiday season and happy new year - Welcome 2016!

Serenity, Almost Thanksgiving, Family and Friends

So here it is almost Thanksgiving and it's a time to reflect on the year and what we are thankful for and what has brought serenity into our lives.

This year has been remarkable for me.  This year our daughter got married, our son found his focus, our home was renovated and I found that in my active life I can find my own focus, my own happiness and mine own strength.

The wedding went well no major issues, a beautiful bride, a beautiful venue, great food, fabulous music, a day filled with families both older and newer, friends from near and far and the day ended filled with joy.

Our son moved back to where he was raised, opened a studio, works for a top art gallery/auction house and lives with his 2 friends in a great house but most importantly he has found his focus and hopefully his serenity.

One of my goals for the past year was to complete the renovations on our home, redo the kitchen, our master bath and the upstairs floors.  Over the past 10 months these goals were tasked and this past week the last part was completed.  Now I have the serenity of a home that reflects me, provides me with comfort and aids in helping me maintain my serenity.

What am I thankful for - a beautiful family, friends that have my back, a happy home (most of the time) and relatively good health.

I am also thankful that I have strength and the ability to acknowledge my tough moments, my sad moments, and the ability to find my serenity in all my moments.

Be Thankful, Be Happy, Be Filled with Joy and Find your Serenity in this wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!

Serenity, Weddings and Joys

In just 5+ days my daughter will become a bride.  It's been a year filled with joy, happiness, a little bit of nerves and a whole lot of fun.

Over the past few days a lot of people have come up to me and asked if I was getting nervous and surprisingly the answer has been no. At times today I have wondered if there was actually something wrong with me since I wasn't nervous, but I decided that it's just the way I am now.

I am surrounded by the peacefulness of all of the wedding preparations, even the contract negotiations for the most part went smoothly.  As the actual day approaches I don't feel anxious just nostalgic remembering significant achievements in my daughter's life; her birth, her first steps, her first words, reading her favorite books in bed each night (Goodnight Moon, Madeline, Make Way for Ducklings, and of course Dr. Seuss), her 1st day of kindergarten, flower girl at my sister's wedding, high school graduation, college graduations and it goes on and on.

She has become a beautiful, caring, hard working young woman and her fiancee is a wonderful young man.  They have known each other since college days but only started dating after they graduated, so they really know each other well and they will learn more and more about each other as they grow together as a married couple.

I have also spent a great deal of time over the past few months looking at my own marriage.  Over the 33+ years, it's had a lot of ups and downs, 2 beautiful children, 3 cats, 2 dogs, several fishtanks, 5 moves - 3 states, the passing of close family members and lots and lots of celebrations and through it all my husband and I have remained together, not always on the same page, but there is always love to keep us content.

Finding my serenity is as important as finding my contentment, but they are not the same thing.  I have found that you can locate your serenity even in a contentious situation, but you many not be able to find contentment in the day.

On my daughter's wedding day, my husband and I will not be "giving her away" but embracing a new family member and embracing a new chapter in our family history.  It will be a day of beauty, a day of joy and day of sunshine and a day filled with the serenity of being surrounded by family, friends, nature and food.

Find your serenity each and every day.  I know that that's what gets me through the day.

Serenity, Heat Waves and approaching Autumn

So, it has been a while since I have posted to the blog, but that's really okay because I wasn't out of my serenity zone for the summertime, now that fall is approaching it's time to do some re-evaluating of my serenity zones.

Summer was an interested time for me - it was filled with preparations that will lead up to a joyous event - a wedding (not mine but my daughter's).  It has been filled with parties, dress and shoe shopping (never a bad thing in my opinion), menu selections, guest lists and invitations and time lines. Surprisingly in the world of event planning most everything, so far has gone off without too much of a hitch.  When we began this process I was determined to allow the couple as much choice as they wanted within reason of a budget.

In doing this I discovered something things about myself that I hadn't realized.  One, I really didn't like my wedding (I love the groom - now my husband of 33 years) and if I had to do it over again there would be a lot I would have changed, but then again - hindsight is always 20/20.  I allowed everyone that was around me to make all of the decisions and abdicated all of my power from day one, that was on me and me alone and two I have found that I had no issue with giving up my now usual control of situations, as it relates to this wedding.

I have learned over the past few years of looking into myself that while there were times that I had to be in control of everything around me, I also seemed to allow people to determine my fate and subjugate to the wishes of those people without ever questioning the why.  I don't know why I did that except perhaps it was an issue of fear, always being afraid of being wrong or not be liked or disappointing my parents, my friends, etcetera.   If you don't try, you don't get hurt.

In retrospect I believe that it has now made me a stronger person, one who believes in herself, one who has the determination to move forward in life with a belief in finding the way to live a life that has meaning, that has adventure, that's filled with joy.

So keep cool in this September heat wave, because soon the daylight will be much shorter and the coolness of Autumn will be upon us.  Leaves will fall from the trees, there will be a crispness in the air, beautiful mums will bloom, joy and serenity will surround us for the season.

How can it not when the upcoming months will be filled with wedding bells or this case violins, music and love?

Be fulfilled with the Serenity that surrounds you!

Finding Serenity in Memories

Tomorrow morning I will accompany my mother to closing on our family home.  Over the past few weeks I have thought a lot about growing up in this house.

It was filled with celebrations, family dinners, holidays, proms, parties, and grandchildren, but there were also sad times and arguments, illness, hospitalizations, and deaths.  This is all a part of the family cycle and what makes a house a home.

My parents did very little in the way of renovations to our home, they did the kitchen and bathrooms but for most of my young life I shared a bedroom with my sister (4 year age difference - she's younger) and I was not happy about that, but I got used to it and now as adults we are close, but when I was 10 and she was 6 not so much, then she was just annoying.  We also have brother who was stuck with being the middle child.

We walked to elementary school, took buses to junior high and high school and hung out with our friends in the backyard, patio or finished basement.  We participated in outside activities, sports, theater, music and religious activities. There was always snacks and there was always lots of laughing.

As we got older and our parents became what all parents become when their children are in high school - embarrassing, we all survived, not always happily but with renewed determination.  Luckily once college starts they become less so and by the time we graduated they were actually pretty okay. As each of us married and had families of our own, our childhood home became the place to return to and a new generation of babies and toddlers find fun and food in their grandparents home.

So, tomorrow a new young family will take residence of our home and begin to make their own memories and this is how it should be.  I am finding serenity in this thought and truly believe that the memories of growing up surrounded by family, friends, food and love will always be a factor in finding serenity in my everyday life.  Especially now as my own children begin their journeys into finding their own serenity in their pathways through life.

Find serenity in your memories both happy and sad, this is what family is all about.

Finding on Serenity in being a Mother

So here it is the end of the official Mother's Day and it has been a day filled with phone calls, cards, good food and of course family.

In each blog I ask the question of finding serenity in various situations, so today here's the question - how do maintain serenity when a family member begins a rant against you personally?

This happened to me today and I found the solution with ease.  Don't fight back, Don't raise your voice, just listen and understand where the issue is coming from.  Frustrations, anger, and fear cause people to just react.  The key is to not overreact in response.

It's a difficult balance to maintain and I know that there are times when I am not successful and do overreact, but hopefully I can bring back my focus, balance and serenity.

I hope that each and every day of my life I can find a balance of find the serenity in all situations, whether it's writing in my blog, exercising, eating, working, cleaning, enjoying my family, enjoying my cat, reading on my IPad, surfing the web, arguing with my husband, traveling, etc.

So I suggest taking a deep breath, close your eyes, picture your children, your grandchildren, your spouse or partner and find the happiness and joy in the pleasure of being surrounded by love.  These moments will fill you with serenity.

Each and every day take a moment to re-adjust and locate your serenity.  Be in the moment.

Happy Mother's Day.

Finding Passion in Serenity

So here it is springtime and yes it has been a rough winter, but now it's time for renewal.  A time for renewal of spirit, renewal of focus, renewal of commitments and a renewal of passion.

Why is it that spring always seems to be a time to re-focus our energies on finding new passions in our lives?  This mystifies me.  Shouldn't we always be looking out for passion in our lives and I am not necessarily speaking of romantic passion although it's nice if you do have this in your life, I am speaking about our daily search for finding something in our lives that has meaning, that drives us, that motivates us to move onto the next passion.

For most of my life I believe this was missing and now that I have found my strengths and my passions I have made this a mantra each day.  That being said there are definitely days were my passion, serenity and strengths get lost and take a sick day, but the key is to recognize that, not allow it to take you over and spend the time simply letting go.

Last week I had such a day - I overslept, having had a night were I tossed and turned, I dropped the freshly ground coffee all over the counter and had to grind more beans, I went out to get the morning paper to find it cool and drizzly and at the point decided that the only thing to was take the day off (I work from home).  I spend the entire day in sweatpants, cozy socks, drinking tea and reading a romance novel on my IPad.  I detached from myself, my email, and the world around me.  IT WAS WONDERFUL.

When I woke up the next morning I was re-charged and ready to locate my passion for day.  It was the best decision for me at time.

So I recommend that every once in awhile take a vacation day from the world around you and yourself.  Detach and detox.  It will help bring you back allowing you to re-connect with yourself, your passions and your serenity.

HAPPY SPRING!
BREATHE THE FRESH AIR AND FIND YOUR PASSION & YOUR SERENITY!