Finding Serenity when a child is ill.

So it's been a while since I've posted but today's post is probably one of the most difficult posts I've done, because it's been very difficult to locate my serenity over the past month and it's even more difficult when your child is ill and then requires surgery.

My child is an adult, so it's not someone I can cuddle in my lap, but I have been able to rub his back, help him into his bathrobe, walk with him around the floor and just be there to listen to him complain, listen to him get frustrated and mother him when he needs it and a few times when he didn't but I did.

It's frustrating and un-nerving to know that you are some what helpless in these situations and those frustrations make it very difficult to find my serenity.  At various times through out the past 6 days I have taken time to walk alone outside to deep breath and try to focus on the positive. 

Once the current issues pass, he should be a relatively healthy individual who will be able to return to work, house remodeling, art and have a full life back surrounded by family and friends, but as of this evening it's hard to see past his pain and discomfort and as a parent that weighs on me heavily.

So how do I find my serenity?  It's easy to post that I have found a time each day to focus on the positive but that wouldn't really be true.  The day surgery happened I found no serenity until the surgeon appeared before us and stated that barring any complications surgery was successful and he should have a full recovery and that moment I took my first deep breath, but it didn't truly work until I saw him awake and laying in bed willing to smile and letting me hug him, that was the first chance I had to find a little serenity in the moment.  The past few days though have been a challenge while the doctors determine what causing an elevation in white blood cells (not a large change but a small one) and what we have had to deal with is:  frustration, anger and a lot of boredom.  Hospitals are noisy places filled with patients, families and caring staff.  I must say that the nurses at the hospital have gone out of their way to answer questions, be helpful and understanding they work long hours and never lose their cool.  I admire their dedication and compassion and I hope that they all have the ability to locate their serenity on their way home from work each day.

So back to the question of finding my serenity, it's difficult but each night as I've laid in bed I turn on music to lull me to sleep, breath deeply, close my eyes and repeat to myself that my family surrounds me joy and laughter and tomorrow I will wake up and see my child smiling in his hospital bed anxiously awaiting the news that he's been bumped out and being sent home to finish recuperating.  I sleep knowing that my life will return to it's daily serenity in a very short time.

Life is all about facing our challenges, illness is just one of the bumps in our road that we must negotiate our way through.  Challenges are their to show us how strong we can be even if we have doubt.  Life moves forward and we can always find that serenity even when it misses a day or two.

So in the face of a challenge take a couple of really deep breaths, turn on some music that we provide you with peace and locate your serenity.

Be filled with joy, face your challenges and find your serenity.