Serenity, Sammy, Sadness, and Spring Renewal

Every spring we look at the renewal of life that surrounds us.  Last week we unfortunately had to put down our beloved pet - Sammy (Samson).  He was in a lot of pain, very weak and not eating or drinking - he was also almost 17 years old.

As anyone who has every visited us can attest to he was a very unusual, unique cat.  He loved water, loved people, loved attention and was very loud (loud mewing, loud purring)  my brother-in-law once referred to his purring as a mack truck in idle position.  I had a very difficult time making this decision, but I didn't want to see him suffer needlessly just because we would miss him.  I did not sleep well that night, I actually dreamt that Sammy decided not to succumb and the drugs that they had given him didn't work and instead he bounced back, but alas it was really only a dream.

That evening I posted our sorrow on Facebook along with a picture of a happy Sammy and was overwhelmed with the response and caring expressed by my Facebook friends and family.

The next day although I was still sad and Hercules (our 2nd cat) followed me all around the house as if he knew something was off, I felt a sense of serenity - that we had made the right decision and that Sammy was in a better place.  Hercules is still a little confused but he's becoming more bold now that his mentor has gone.  Hercules now has his place at the top after spending the past 15 years in the shadow of Sammy.  Life goes on.

Spring has brought renewal and in a few days it will bring together family and friends for Passover. There is a definitive sense of calm, joy and love that surrounds our family seder.  This year's seder will be small for us, but I'm okay with that.  Small numbers do not mean less joy but more talking, more laughter, more singing and more fond memories and of course great food.

I have learned to cherish each moment of these special times.  To find joy and serenity in living each day, to finding the love that family and friends provide and to maintain my serenity at the end of each and every day.  Sometimes it might be a challenge, but mostly it's a joy.

Keep happiness, joy and serenity a daily part of your life.

Finding Serenity in a Major Family Change

Yesterday my 84 year old mother moved from our family home to an independent/assisted living facility. It's the beginning of a new chapter in her life and the beginning and end to a chapter in my life and that of my siblings.

She was ready to move forward although it was a little stressful.  The move was quick and relatively smooth and her apartment is very nice.  When I left last night my mother had gone to dinner with her new neighbor and she had already been welcomed by the Welcoming Committee and several of the staff.  My sister commented that it kind of reminded her of a college dorm especially since they have communal dining, but it very very upscale.

I am positive that my mother will find her place in her new home, luckily she already has a number of friends who live there as well and she is a very social person.

Since this is a blog about serenity I probably should mention that her moving to this new home has brought me serenity in knowing that she is safe in a community that will watch out for her, in a home that is conducive to an active life while maintaining a safe environment for everyday living.  Last night for the first time in a while I slept soundly, part of it was due to the physical exhaustion, but part was due to knowing that mom was in a safe place.

On a different note - I am really really sick of this winter, snow, ice, cold - it makes it difficult to be serene when you have snow for the 5th time, although before you have to go out and shovel or clean your car off or drive in it, just sit back and look out the window and observe the beauty of it all and the wonder of the world.  I look out my backyard at the watching squirrels and birds eating seeds from the feeders that my neighbor puts out and enjoy the serenity of the peaceful world around me.  Even now with the ice coating the trees and the grey skies I'm finding my serenity and enjoying just sitting at my Macbook writing this blog while the world around me is either in the dark (power outages) or sitting in massive traffic jams due to falling trees across the roads.

Find Serenity in the beauty that surrounds you.

Serenity & Thanksgiving - ENJOY!

So tonight is the first night of Hanukkah and tomorrow is Thanksgiving, a time for family, feasting, football and feeling content.

I am lucky that I don't have to prepare Thanksgiving dinner, instead I do Friday night with my family and my extended family.  In the past these large family get togethers have sometimes made me nuts, according to my daughter I go into "bitch" status, but this year I choose not to make myself nuts.

I know that my children do not believe this is possible but I am fairly sure that I can maintain calmness thanks to my ability to locate serenity in crazy situations.

I have taken this attitude with all things in my life including my marriage, my family, my friends, colleagues and the search for employment.  It has brought me contentment and sometimes happiness.

I find that if I can't fix the problem, it's better to let it go, perhaps the solution will come at a later time, if at all, some problems just can't be solved.  Up to the last few months I had a hard time believing that all problems can't be solved, but now I see that somethings are just not worth the time or effort and I just put them aside.  It has helped me find the happy place in life.

So here's to Hanukkah, Thanksgiving, Family, Friends and Food.

Enjoy, be happy and find serenity in all that surrounds you.

Finding Serenity in Every Day Mistakes

Okay, so I know that it's been quite a while since I last posted to the blog but I haven't lost my search for every day serenity - it just got a little caught up in the every day issues of life.

For this I am very sorry.  As some of you may know I have made a choice to begin a new chapter in my life.  I have started to work on the concept of a new nonprofit - we are calling it - First Light Project.   Most of my career has been spent in helping already established nonprofits find funds, do an event, run walks/runs, etc, now I am taking all of that knowledge along with lessons learned to format this new enterprise.

I am very very lucky because I already had colleagues, friends and some family who believe in what can be accomplished in this new endeavor.  I am also a little frightened and exceptionally honored to have people believe in me, it helps me to believe in myself and probably for the first time in my life I truly believe that I can accomplish this feat to head up an enterprise from the start.

As I begin the new year (yes I am Jewish), I look forward to many new challenges, new projects, new journeys and continuing to move only in a forward direction.

Each step forward should offer insight, be filled with questions, look for answers and the opportunity to breath deeply and savior each moment of each day.

The title of of this blog - Finding Serenity in Every Day Mistakes has a purpose.  Mistakes we make should never be overlooked we should keep them in mind and keep them the reason to go onto our new challenges.  If we never made a mistake then we would never learn and never move forward.  This past week that this brought home by a very insightful local small business owner, who had made a mistake in an invoice which he rectified by giving a refund that was more than the mistake.  When I tried to give him back some of the money he replied:  "If by paying you this refund I keep in mind that mistake I originally made then I will learn from that mistake and not make it again."  I left that place of business not only feeling incredibly happy with the world, but also thinking about his comment.  In our every day life we make mistakes but how we react to them is what this time of year is all about - forgiveness, finding serenity and peace in our every day lives and in our mistakes.

Learn from the mistakes, live each day to fullest, ask for forgiveness whenever it's necessary and each and every day of your life you will locate your serenity.

Serenity and Upcoming Valentine's Day

Each year I await the Valentine's Day holiday with trepidation and the knowledge that I have no romance in my life (other than what I do for myself).

31 years ago my father told my husband that he didn't need a set day of the year to tell my mother that he loves her and that they never really celebrated the holiday.  So since then - nothing.  Ever so often he remembers that it's Valentine's Day and gets a card and once he gave me a small Dove chocolate in my lunch (he was unemployed at the time and consequently home), but other than that, romance doesn't seem to be a factor in our lives.

And that's what I love about the holiday - it forces us to put some romance into our everyday lives.  I know that some people go over the top with the day, but there is a little piece of me that always hopes that even if it's not that actual day I will be surprised by romance.

My son and husband like to make fun of me because lately I have taken to reading romance novels on my Kindle, I do also read literature and the daily New York Times, but the romance novels give me a chance to believe that some day romance will find a way back into my life.

The question is what exactly is romance?  I can only say that for romance would be a gentle surprise that would make me feel completely special in the eyes of others.  I know that I have a wonderful soul, that I am caring and loving person (probably sometimes to a fault) but I also know that there are times when I feel that I am the only person that knows this about myself, sometimes the romantic surprise could make a real difference to the psyche of a person.

So for all of you out there who have romance in your lives, share with me what makes romance real to you and for all of those who find themselves in a similar boat to me - I say, have a piece of dark chocolate, a wonderful glass deep red wine, light some candles, fill the tub with hot water and bubbles and enjoy the peace that will surround you.  It's not romance but it will give the end of your day beauty.

Peace & Serenity!

Serenity & New Year's Resolutions

Well it's time for a new year and I have seen a lot written about attainable New Year's Resolutions.  So the question of the day is What is your New Year's Resolution?

I know that over the next few weeks I will be attempting to figure out what exactly I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year.  These are goals for both personal and professional.  On the personal side I know that I need to exercise more, watch what I eat and not be so willing to just roll over when I am faced with decisions allowing everyone to input their opinions on me.  It will take initiative for me to become a more decisive person.  Over my life I think that in order to not make waves or be argumentative that I simply gave in.  I have done this with both personal and professional decisions and it's making me a very unhappy human being.  So no more.

I must learn to stand my ground.  Now this doesn't mean that I won't listen to other opinions or take circumstances into consideration, but for now I must learn to believe in myself.  I cannot and will not allow people to run over my feelings, my opinions or my beliefs.  This goes for all aspects of my life.

I believe that serenity can be found daily by believing in yourself.  Through most of my life this hasn't been the case.  I was filled with self-doubt and still am even as I write this, but my goal and resolution for 2013 and for the rest of my life is to change this one aspect of my life and I truly believe that it will enhance the every day serenity I find.

A Very Happy New Year to You!!!!

Finding Serenity in a Full House

Well, it's holiday season and our neighborhoods are filled with lights, traffic, people who take the holiday spirit a little too far, nice people, grumpy people and houses filled with people.

So the question is how do you find serenity in this chaotic few weeks?

I have 2 unemployed adult children, one of whom is now living at home and the older one decided to escape from NYC and come home for a visit.  Now don't get wrong, when you have lived sans children for a couple of years having them back is fun.  I do like being able to converse at dinner (husband is on assignment in another state and comes home for the weekend), but I find that I can unexpectedly get frustrated and tense when they get loud, obnoxious and what I perceive as disrespectful.  So how can I detach from this and find my serenity and my happy place?

There are several ways I have found to disengage from the craziness.
1.  If it's late in the day a nice glass of wine in a quiet spot, if its the afternoon I will make myself a cup of herbal tea and sip it in a quiet corner with my Kindle.  I have found that when I'm frustrated, angry, tense or unhappy reading a romantic novel helps remove me from the stress and envelops me into a fantasy world for a few minutes.  Also, the characters in these stories seems to have problems much more serious than mine, so I end up feeling much better about life in general.

2. Music - I have mentioned this before but laying in a very dark room at night surrounded by soft meditation music seems to cull the stress and allow a deep sleep.

3.  Leave the house and go for a walk, especially in the evening when people have their houses decorated with beautiful lights.  I find stars, the moon and Christmas lights to be magical.

So my advice for finding serenity during chaotic times - look around you and take in the good, the beautiful, the laughter and the love.  Have a glass of wine, a cup of tea, take walk, read a romantic story and you will locate your serenity.

Happy Holidays!