Finding Serenity when a Beautiful Person Person Passes Away

How can someone find serenity when a beloved member of their family passes away?

On Sunday, my beautiful mother slipped gracefully into full serenity where pain and suffering is no longer a part of life.

My mother was basically the Energizer Bunny, no matter what was thrown her way she kept moving forward.  She was one of those rare individuals who put others before herself.  At the age of 88 she was still visiting residents in the assisting living area of her complex to make sure they had a friendly face, a smile and a short chat, but that was nothing new to her, it's what she did her entire life, even before she had a husband and children.

Religion and God were an essential part of my mother's daily life.  She was a teacher, a lay leader and a primary example of how to be a caring human being.  I am positive that her belief system is what enabled her to live her life to the fullest, helping and caring about those who surrounded her.

For the past week I have struggled to take a deep breathe and locate my serenity.  In the quiet moments, I try to remember her funnier moments, her caring attitude, her beautiful smile, how she was always dressed immaculately, no matter where she went.  It's in these moments I find a little serenity.

I believe that my mother is now with my father, her sisters, his brothers, their colleagues and friends who have all left this earth and is enjoying stimulating discussion groups, learning sessions and book reviews.  Somebody asked me recently if I believe in reincarnation, I don't really think so but I do believe that there is an afterlife of some sort.

So, how do I find my serenity during this time of grief?  I remember the love, the caring, the beauty and the fact that my mother always moved forward.  The past is something we should learn from, but not dwell on.

I am taking deep deep breaths and finding serenity in the memory of my mother.

Finding Serenity in times of disasters, in times of devastation and times of heroism.

I am sitting here watching and listening to the devastating events that are currently happening in Texas and through all this devastation the news is filled with stories of hope and heroism.

So when you are surrounded by these events how do you find any serenity?  How do you find serenity when your home is underwater, how do find serenity when your approaching exhaustion, how do find serenity when you are inundated with the unknown?

You find your serenity in a single moment. You find your serenity in knowing that you have survived, that your family are in a safe place, that life will go forward at some point.  Houses, clothes, electronics, etc are just things, things that can be replaced, home is where you are with your loved ones surrounding you, it's not a place, it's an idea.  Keep this in mind, keep this in your heart and you will find your serenity.

I will keep the people of Houston, Corpus Christi and the surrounding areas in my heart and I ask my readers to please think about opening your hearts and your wallets to donate to causes that will help families, pets, medical, etc.

Find your serenity by taking each moment at time.  Take a deep cleansing breath and look to those loved ones around you for a hug.  Hugs will bring smiles and smiles will bring you serenity.

Be a hero by finding your serenity and then helping others locate theirs.

Serenity, Stars, Family and Fish

I have just returned from a long weekend up in the mountains near a small lake where I spent a lot of time surrounded by my husband, my kids and by nature.  It was very much needed and very much appreciated.

Over this past month I have been feeling a little overwhelmed about an upcoming project that has potential to life changing for urban communities that are in flux.  It's exciting and a little terrifying at the same time, so the idea of spending time away from my home office and my laptop was very appealing.  I tried very hard to only connect with WIFI when I needed to check out something the kids suggested and I did use my IPad for reading on my Kindle app.  I have to say it wasn't that difficult to disconnect and I highly recommend that everyone try to disconnect from technology every so often.  You'll find it freeing.

My time was spent watching the lake, watching the sunset, watching the deer (who apparently are so used the people that they barely acknowledge our presence), and watching the stars.  It was a joy to watch my now adult children interact with each other as equals, laughing and conversing about relevant topics, music and podcasts.  It was a joy to watch my husband with fishing rod in his hands lazily casting out into in the lake, he didn't even care that the only thing his was catching was lake grass.

I am finding that this need to periodically disconnect from the turbulent world that surrounds us is a great way to maintain my serenity and although this long weekend was in the mountains, I am absolutely positive that I can find a way to disconnect in my own backyard.

As the world around us becomes more and more derisive, we all need to take a step back, disconnect, breathe deep and find our serenity and in case you are in need of some help I have attached a photo I took of a beautiful sunset on Saturday evening.

Finding Serenity in Fresh Food

I'm very lucky to have a spouse with a green thumb and who enjoys the labor involved with planting fresh veggies and herbs.

Each year in early spring we choose what we want to grow in our gardens.  This year it has been English Peas, Eggplants, a variety of peppers, cucumbers (I love to make pickles), lots of tomatoes and of course - basil, rosemary and mint.

I have found that there is serenity in harvesting. I love going out into the garden digging through the plants and finding my bounty.  As I place things into my basket there is a sense of well being that flows through me knowing that we did this, we grew these vegetables and each time I unload the harvest into my kitchen I am filled with a sense of purpose on preparing the bounty for dinner or pickles or soup, etc but I am also filled with questions about what to do with leftover harvest when I get tired of eating cucumber/mint gazpacho.

At my weekly Rotary Luncheon a fellow Rotarian mentioned that summer is always an issue for feeding school children in our communities.  These children get breakfast and lunch during the school year but when school ends and summer begins and programs are cut how can we provide the necessary nutrition for these youths.

I thought about my garden and my harvest and wondered if there isn't some way to deliver extra produce to the community that needs it.  Each year I grow way too much and luckily for me I have a vacuum sealer and dehydrator, but what if I could do "good" with my excess.

I would love the opportunity to bring the serenity of gardening and harvesting the bounty to others.

I ask you to think about your gardens and how we can use our excess harvest to help out in our local communities.

ENJOY THE BOUNTY, ENJOY THE FRESH AIR, TAKE A DEEP DEEP BREATH and FIND YOUR SERENITY!

HAPPY SUMMER!

Serenity, Significant Birthdays and Simple Things

So today I will celebrate a significant birthday, I will turn 60.  Yesterday someone asked how I felt about it and I realized I don't really know.  When I turned 50 I was excited, my kids were becoming adults, my spouse had a great job and I had a good career, now 10 years later, I'm in a new location with a new career goal, a retired spouse and my children are adults with lives of their own, so how do I feel about 60?  I'd say confused.

When I was a young married person 35 years ago I thought 60 was ancient and that my parents were so old, now I look at myself and think I look so much younger than my parents did when they were 60, but is it really true?  This is what I'm having a hard time with.

Over the weekend I had been in a kinda of funk, I was not really serene but I wasn't  anxious either, I was just meh. So when I woke up this morning to a sunny, hot day, my phone filled with texts and already Facebook posts wishing me a Happy Birthday I had myself feeling a little bit lighter.  I also had the joy of watching my favorite hockey team win the Stanley Cup (I'd like to think that they won in honor of my 60th birthday) for the 2nd year in a row last night.  So what's still causing me to question how I feel about turning 60?

I have learned over the past 5 years that it doesn't do my serenity any good to constantly be looking ahead or looking behind, but that I need to just simply live in the moment. Find the joy in where you are at and what you are doing, even the mundane.  I can find the joy of drinking the perfect cup of coffee with my breakfast, the joy of sitting and looking at the view from my deck, the joy of being surrounded by birthday cards, the art on my walls, the plants in the corner, even doing the dishes (there's a lot of joy blowing soap bubbles with dish soap-I recommend trying it).

So on my 60th birthday I will find my daily serenity by breathing in and out very deeply, reading all the best wishes of my friends and family on social media, enjoy the quiet, embrace the joy that surrounds me today and every day and possibly even eat something that's not so healthy.

Locate your Serenity, Embrace the Joy and HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Serenity, Mother's Day and Hockey

Okay so first let's talk about finding serenity when it's the Stanley Cup Playoffs,  I'm a hockey fan.  I have been a hockey fan for a long time and yes I will admit that it's not a very serene sport, but you know what, I think that's okay.  You can always find serenity while being a sports fan, it's knowing that the excitement of the sport is but a fleeting moment and after the rush, there's the time to find your serenity and take a deep cleansing breathe.

I love the excitement of the Stanley Cup playoffs especially when I team I support is in it, so I get happy and tense and occasionally angry but when the game is over and the t.v. is off then I take a very deep cleansing breathe, close my eyes and bring myself back into serenity.  I always want a win but if it doesn't happen I will still be able to find my serenity.

Onto a more happy topic - Mother's Day.  Yes I am a mother and yes I'm obviously a daughter, my mother is very much alive and very much a part of my life.  This is a day that has always confused me.  For a couple of hours we "honor" our mothers but what does that mean and shouldn't we be honoring them everyday we are alive?

My mother is one of the most giving beings I have known, she has always gone out of her way for others, right down to making sure that there was food on the table for you if you were vegetarian or allergic.  Every friend we had growing up became a part of our family and our spouses were immediately her sons or daughters.  Each time I shop for her or take her to an appointment the conversation is always either about one of her friends, or her grandchildren or what she learned last night at a lecture, concert or meeting.  What makes her happy - phone calls from her grandchildren, cards or notes from family and friends or short visits from her friends.  That's what her Mother's Day is all about.

I did not ask my mother what she wanted for mother's day this year, I am fairly certain that I know what she wants and it's not something that I can actually provide, but I will do my best to be with her and enjoy her love and passions when I'm with her tomorrow.  I know that my children will call, chat with me, make me laugh and bring me joy.

When my kids were young I always enjoyed the homemade cards and the breakfast they made with help from their dad along with the presents and the freshly picked bouquets (sometimes of dandelions), but as they got older and started asking me what I wanted for Mother's Day or my birthday which is shortly after I began to say the immortal words that I think most mothers say, "there's nothing I really need, just you."  But what are we really saying when we spout those words?  I have decided that we really want our kids to think for themselves, use some of that amazing brainpower we have instilled in you and try to determine what would fill your mother with joy.

This will be my serenity tomorrow and it's what I will remember each day until the next time I talk with my kids, with my mother, with my family, with my friends and of course my spouse.

So this week find your serenity in surrounding yourself with family and friends.  Find joy, find peace and find your serenity.

Happy Mother's Day and onto the Stanley Cup!

Is It Easier to Find Serenity in Spring?

Today has been a day of changing patterns, thunderstorms, rain, sun, clouds, more rain, more sun, but it has been relatively warm throughout the day and that begs the question - Is it easier to find your serenity when is warm and sunny or is it just because it's spring?

I sometimes have difficulty with this time of year, one day it's warm and the next day is cold, some days are cool and sunny, some days are cold and rainy and some days are just magnificent-warm temperatures, slight breeze and sunny skies.  Moods go up and down depending on the focus of the day, but that's just normal.

Spring is a time of renewal, grass turns from brown to green, soil is moist and bulbs begin to bloom.(I personally love tulips).  It also seems to me that birds sing louder in the spring, maybe their just happy.

It's an appropriate time to take a deep deep breath and allow ourselves to renew.  Renew our senses, renew our perspective, renew our awareness of the life that surrounds us.  Today I started reading a book a colleague wrote entitled "Learning from Looking:  How Observation Inspires Innovation"* and it completely fits into how important it is to re-look at the world that surrounds us.  Take the time to really observe the green grass, the blue sky, the bolts of lighting, listen to the rain hitting the windows and hear the thunder.

By truly being a part of our surroundings in the Spring we can begin to find our serenity.  I find that just standing outside on my deck, even if it's in my yellow rain-slicker and flowered rain-boots and drawing in a deep cleansing breath I allow the cobwebs, the negative feelings, the resentments to flow out of me and breathe in the serenity that flows through beauty.  Even if it's cold and rainy we should still go out into the weather and breathe deep.  (Word of caution though, don't do this if the weather is severe or dangerous.  Stay inside and simply breathe deep to maintain your balance).

So is it easier to find our serenity in spring?  I say no.  I can locate my serenity no matter what the season but simply seeing and being a part of the world that surrounds me.  This is an important thought - it's not just about observation, it's also important that we participate.  We can only find our serenity if we are active participants in the serenity.

Be Serene and Have a great week.  Happy Spring!

*"Learning from Looking:  How Observation Inspires Innovation" by Charlie Szoradi is available at Amazon.