Serenity, The End of the Year and the New Year

It's been a while since I've posted and I want to apologize for that, but now it's time to look back and also look forward.

With so much uncertainty and derision throughout our country and our entire planet there are some days it's difficult to easily find our serenity but it's exactly those days that we must look hard with ourselves to find some measure of serenity.

I know that over the past few months it has become necessary for me to disconnect not only from media but also from people who are so wrapped up in the negativity that they effect (not physical but mental) those around with their attitude.  I've learned to not engage but instead change the subject or simply walk away, take a really deep deep breath and find serenity.

As we look toward the new year we will have to work on finding serenity on a daily basis perhaps this is the way forward to bring civility back into our world.  We need to work to end the constant flow of hatred that surrounds us, we need to talk to each other and more importantly we need to listen to each other.  We need to bring back respect, civility, compassion and humor to the daily discussions.

My new year's resolution is to work more diligently to be more compassionate, more civil and bring humor to my daily living and I do believe that by working towards this goal I will also find the daily serenity that I need each and every day.

Have a HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR and may it be filled with joy, laughter and serenity.

Serenity, Hatred and Horror

How can we possibly find serenity today,  on a day/week that has been filled with hatred and horror?  I find it heartbreaking that in past year we have witnessed so very many acts of pure hatred, but today it hit too close to home.

Pittsburgh was once my home and the community of Squirrel Hill was a major part of my life.  When I lived there we had a hate crime happen in the community where I lived and our children were placed in lock down while the shooter was on the loose in the area that person randomly targeted a few individuals, what happened today was just out and out horrific.

This blog focuses on how to find serenity in times of distress, but at certain times in our lives it might actually be almost impossible to find our serenity.  On days like today we struggle to find any moment of joy in our lives, but it's necessary to do just that.

While the news plays in the background reporting on this horrible news day, I'm working to focus on my family who've I've been in contact with today, all of whom have ended their conversations with the words "love you" and that's what we must do.  Call, text, reach out to your family, your friends, your colleagues and tell them how much they mean to you.  This may be the only way in these days that are filled with hatred that we can bring servility and serenity back into our conversations, into our day to day interactions and back into this world.

I beg you to look inward and look forward and find your serenity by reaching out to your community with a positive conversation.

As tough as it might be today, take a deep deep deep breath and locate your serenity.

Serenity & Civility

So it's been a little while since I last posted and I have to say that over the past few weeks I have noticed an uptake in people being surly, mean, nasty and cold-hearted towards their fellow human beings.  It's disturbing and not at all in the realm of serenity.

What has happened to civility in the USA?

This past weekend was the first time in a while that discussions focused on the good of a person and that's only because he passed away.  At what point in our daily lives do we focus on the good of our world?

We need to bring back into focus civility in our daily lives, we need to look for the good and not overwhelm ourselves with nasty words, hatred and meanness.

It's exhausting and it's futile.  What does all this nastiness bring us, but more nastiness and more sadness.

During the past week I went on a mission with one of my siblings to visit the grave sites of our parents, grandparents, and several aunts who didn't have children.  It's amazing the sense of serenity you can find when standing before the tombstone of close member of the immediate family.  You want to believe that they have gone to a much better place, where there's no health issues, no outright hatred, no nasty voices just calmness and serenity.

The 3 different cemeteries we visited each had their own distinct feeling to them, but I think I was most moved by standing in front of my parents grave.  It was the anniversary of my mother's death, 1 year ago and as I stood there thinking back on how my mother gave of herself to others, how she was known throughout the community for what she gave back, not only financially but also of her time.  She was loved and honored by many, many people from her children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, students, friends and the community that surrounded her.  Not a week goes by when someone doesn't approach to tell me how much they miss my mother.  My father was the same way.

We need more people to be like my parents.  People to see the good in us. People who don't want to change the world but just make it a more civil place to live.

So my advice, go to the cemetery and stand before a loved one's grave and see if you can feel the serenity that surrounds you in that realm.  Think about what they would be feeling if they were still present in this volatile world.

In order to maintain serenity we must let go of the negative.  So instead of hurtful language, try a smile, instead of nastiness let's try civility.  It will bring us serenity.

Take a deep deep breath, close your eyes and feel the beauty that will always surround us if we let it.

Beautiful days, Serenity and Zen Gardens

Yesterday I visited the Shofuso Japanese House and Gardens located in Fairmount Park, Philadelphia.  It was a beautiful summer day to stroll through the house and the gardens.

Having never traveled to Japan, I have to say how impressed I was with how the home oozed calmness throughout and the gardens were a part of the home.

I came away with a sense of calmness and a feeling that my stress levels had magically been lifted away.  Every part of the home looked out onto the pond and gardens, there were multiple colors of green, beautiful large koi in gold and black, a few turtles, a small island in off to the side with a footbridge and at the pinnacle across from the open area was a small calm waterfall.  Hanging from the branches were wind chimes and mobiles.  One of the most amazing things was the gutter system, instead of a downspout was a metal interwoven chain systems and as the water cascaded down it was like a mini-waterfall.  I found this all very calming and very serene.  I came home wondering how I could install this feeling into my own home.

I realized as I am sitting in my home that there's no juxtaposition of nature into the walls that surround our homes today.  Yes, we have windows and sliding glass doors, but we tend to seal up our homes with air conditioning and heating.  The only way we bring nature into our homes is cut flowers and few potted plants.  So the question of the day, how can we incorporate nature into our surroundings.

It would be great if we could all rebuild our homes with courtyards and incorporate nature into the building, but that's not reality.  So what do you think?  Send me some ideas and I will be happy to post them out there to this magically blog world.

I plan to spend a lot more time sitting out on my deck, using my home office to sit outside and enjoy the sounds of the day.  Several years ago I had the opportunity to spend a summer in the mountains with a waterfall in my backyard and the Delaware River across the street.  I spend each morning drinking coffee and eating breakfast just listening to the waterfall, the evening was spent chatting with my neighbors while drinking wine on the decks outside, watching the deer, watching the birds, watching the dog play in the waterfall and just enjoying the world that surrounded us.

Enjoy the world around, go out and be a part of it, don't stay attached to your devices and locked into brick and mortar.  We need  to connect with the natural aspects of our daily world.  Stroll through beautiful gardens, walk around a lake, view a sunset or a sunrise.  ENJOY the beauty.

Find serenity by finding ways to connect with nature, finding ways to connect with your inner self, and finding ways to live a life filled with meaning, love and serenity.

Serenity, Summer (almost) and Superb Blooms

I just wandered through our garden photographing and documenting our early flower blooms, herbs and actually picked some of our early peas.  I find it very fulfilling to harvest our veggies.  There is a supreme sense of serenity in knowing that you have produced your own vegetables.

It's a joy to look out onto the deck each morning during breakfast and see the bounty of color adorning the deck flower boxes.  Even in the rain it's filled with beauty.

The month of June is always filled with wonder to me.  It's filled with family birthdays, an anniversary, father's day and even flag day.  It's also a month of next steps for families-graduations, moving out and beginning the next phases of our lives.  It's a time of travel and a time to relax and enjoy the beauty of the world that surrounds us.

So my recommendation - stop, take a deep breath, open your eyes and take in the beauty, the joy, the peacefulness that envelopes us.  Enjoy the rain, enjoy the thunder, enjoy the rainbows, enjoy the smells and simply enjoy.

By stopping and enjoying the world that surrounds us we will find our serenity.  So take my advice and stop for a moment.

Finding Serenity when a child is ill.

So it's been a while since I've posted but today's post is probably one of the most difficult posts I've done, because it's been very difficult to locate my serenity over the past month and it's even more difficult when your child is ill and then requires surgery.

My child is an adult, so it's not someone I can cuddle in my lap, but I have been able to rub his back, help him into his bathrobe, walk with him around the floor and just be there to listen to him complain, listen to him get frustrated and mother him when he needs it and a few times when he didn't but I did.

It's frustrating and un-nerving to know that you are some what helpless in these situations and those frustrations make it very difficult to find my serenity.  At various times through out the past 6 days I have taken time to walk alone outside to deep breath and try to focus on the positive. 

Once the current issues pass, he should be a relatively healthy individual who will be able to return to work, house remodeling, art and have a full life back surrounded by family and friends, but as of this evening it's hard to see past his pain and discomfort and as a parent that weighs on me heavily.

So how do I find my serenity?  It's easy to post that I have found a time each day to focus on the positive but that wouldn't really be true.  The day surgery happened I found no serenity until the surgeon appeared before us and stated that barring any complications surgery was successful and he should have a full recovery and that moment I took my first deep breath, but it didn't truly work until I saw him awake and laying in bed willing to smile and letting me hug him, that was the first chance I had to find a little serenity in the moment.  The past few days though have been a challenge while the doctors determine what causing an elevation in white blood cells (not a large change but a small one) and what we have had to deal with is:  frustration, anger and a lot of boredom.  Hospitals are noisy places filled with patients, families and caring staff.  I must say that the nurses at the hospital have gone out of their way to answer questions, be helpful and understanding they work long hours and never lose their cool.  I admire their dedication and compassion and I hope that they all have the ability to locate their serenity on their way home from work each day.

So back to the question of finding my serenity, it's difficult but each night as I've laid in bed I turn on music to lull me to sleep, breath deeply, close my eyes and repeat to myself that my family surrounds me joy and laughter and tomorrow I will wake up and see my child smiling in his hospital bed anxiously awaiting the news that he's been bumped out and being sent home to finish recuperating.  I sleep knowing that my life will return to it's daily serenity in a very short time.

Life is all about facing our challenges, illness is just one of the bumps in our road that we must negotiate our way through.  Challenges are their to show us how strong we can be even if we have doubt.  Life moves forward and we can always find that serenity even when it misses a day or two.

So in the face of a challenge take a couple of really deep breaths, turn on some music that we provide you with peace and locate your serenity.

Be filled with joy, face your challenges and find your serenity.

Traveling with a Purpose and the Serenity Found Within

I wanted to leave these 4 blog posts with some final thoughts on finding serenity, joy and appreciation for what we have in our daily lives.

Over the past few years I have had the honor, yes the honor to travel to Central America and now the Caribbean (post Hurricane) and see what most people who reside in the U.S.A. and other "civilized" countries never take the time to see.  We think that we know what "poverty" is and how lucky we are that we live in a country where we have homes, cars, lots of food, we can go out to restaurants when ever we want, we can go on vacations, etc, etc...but are we ever grateful that we have water, a roof over our heads, walls that stay up, electricity at our beck and call?  I think not.  Even as I write this blog, I'm not worried about the fact that my electricity is flowing though my laptop or that there is a glass of filtered water sitting in front of me, but I have seen many, many, many people in many areas of our own hemisphere where this is a daily concern.

When I went to the Civil Defense Group in Puerta Platta, Dominican Republic their unique building was actually without power that day due to grid issues on the island.  When asked about it they said it was a common occurrence, but they didn't seem to notice or be worried about the issue, they just mustered on and if you haven't thought about it also realize that no electricity means no water, water in these areas requires pumping and filtration all requiring electricity.

My take away from this "mission" cruise and other trips I have taken is that even though we would be overwhelmed by what we saw, I saw nothing but people going about their every day lives filled with joy that they live on a beautiful island, that they were surrounded by family, by friends, by strangers who care and by nature who maintains our balance in the world.  They do not focus on the negative, they focus on joy.  You hear it in the music, you hear it in their words, and you see it on their faces and in their souls.

Serenity can surround you at every turn in our life if you just let it in.  Don't focus on the negative, don't focus on what can't be accomplished, focus on nature, focus on the beauty of the world that surrounds us, focus on joy.  By focusing your mind, your soul will find serenity.  Of this I'm positive.