Serenity and Upcoming Valentine's Day

Each year I await the Valentine's Day holiday with trepidation and the knowledge that I have no romance in my life (other than what I do for myself).

31 years ago my father told my husband that he didn't need a set day of the year to tell my mother that he loves her and that they never really celebrated the holiday.  So since then - nothing.  Ever so often he remembers that it's Valentine's Day and gets a card and once he gave me a small Dove chocolate in my lunch (he was unemployed at the time and consequently home), but other than that, romance doesn't seem to be a factor in our lives.

And that's what I love about the holiday - it forces us to put some romance into our everyday lives.  I know that some people go over the top with the day, but there is a little piece of me that always hopes that even if it's not that actual day I will be surprised by romance.

My son and husband like to make fun of me because lately I have taken to reading romance novels on my Kindle, I do also read literature and the daily New York Times, but the romance novels give me a chance to believe that some day romance will find a way back into my life.

The question is what exactly is romance?  I can only say that for romance would be a gentle surprise that would make me feel completely special in the eyes of others.  I know that I have a wonderful soul, that I am caring and loving person (probably sometimes to a fault) but I also know that there are times when I feel that I am the only person that knows this about myself, sometimes the romantic surprise could make a real difference to the psyche of a person.

So for all of you out there who have romance in your lives, share with me what makes romance real to you and for all of those who find themselves in a similar boat to me - I say, have a piece of dark chocolate, a wonderful glass deep red wine, light some candles, fill the tub with hot water and bubbles and enjoy the peace that will surround you.  It's not romance but it will give the end of your day beauty.

Peace & Serenity!

Serenity & New Year's Resolutions

Well it's time for a new year and I have seen a lot written about attainable New Year's Resolutions.  So the question of the day is What is your New Year's Resolution?

I know that over the next few weeks I will be attempting to figure out what exactly I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year.  These are goals for both personal and professional.  On the personal side I know that I need to exercise more, watch what I eat and not be so willing to just roll over when I am faced with decisions allowing everyone to input their opinions on me.  It will take initiative for me to become a more decisive person.  Over my life I think that in order to not make waves or be argumentative that I simply gave in.  I have done this with both personal and professional decisions and it's making me a very unhappy human being.  So no more.

I must learn to stand my ground.  Now this doesn't mean that I won't listen to other opinions or take circumstances into consideration, but for now I must learn to believe in myself.  I cannot and will not allow people to run over my feelings, my opinions or my beliefs.  This goes for all aspects of my life.

I believe that serenity can be found daily by believing in yourself.  Through most of my life this hasn't been the case.  I was filled with self-doubt and still am even as I write this, but my goal and resolution for 2013 and for the rest of my life is to change this one aspect of my life and I truly believe that it will enhance the every day serenity I find.

A Very Happy New Year to You!!!!

Finding Serenity in a Full House

Well, it's holiday season and our neighborhoods are filled with lights, traffic, people who take the holiday spirit a little too far, nice people, grumpy people and houses filled with people.

So the question is how do you find serenity in this chaotic few weeks?

I have 2 unemployed adult children, one of whom is now living at home and the older one decided to escape from NYC and come home for a visit.  Now don't get wrong, when you have lived sans children for a couple of years having them back is fun.  I do like being able to converse at dinner (husband is on assignment in another state and comes home for the weekend), but I find that I can unexpectedly get frustrated and tense when they get loud, obnoxious and what I perceive as disrespectful.  So how can I detach from this and find my serenity and my happy place?

There are several ways I have found to disengage from the craziness.
1.  If it's late in the day a nice glass of wine in a quiet spot, if its the afternoon I will make myself a cup of herbal tea and sip it in a quiet corner with my Kindle.  I have found that when I'm frustrated, angry, tense or unhappy reading a romantic novel helps remove me from the stress and envelops me into a fantasy world for a few minutes.  Also, the characters in these stories seems to have problems much more serious than mine, so I end up feeling much better about life in general.

2. Music - I have mentioned this before but laying in a very dark room at night surrounded by soft meditation music seems to cull the stress and allow a deep sleep.

3.  Leave the house and go for a walk, especially in the evening when people have their houses decorated with beautiful lights.  I find stars, the moon and Christmas lights to be magical.

So my advice for finding serenity during chaotic times - look around you and take in the good, the beautiful, the laughter and the love.  Have a glass of wine, a cup of tea, take walk, read a romantic story and you will locate your serenity.

Happy Holidays!

Maintaining Serenity during Crisises of All Sorts

I know that it's been a while since I have last blogged about serenity - so I have a lot to say.

The past week has been incredibly hectic - first there was a trip to Pittsburgh (overnight) to see the Steelers beat the Redskins and have dinner with friends.  Then there was a Hurricane named Sandy who along with reeking havoc on the NJ shore and NYC area also impacted my scheduled closing for our new home (which is directly across the street from our rental).  The couple we purchased the townhouse from retired and wanted to move back home to Hungary.  Well with a little bit of luck and because we had no major issues, closing was held on the scheduled day just a few hours later than it was supposed to happen.  Now we own a townhouse and are still living in the rental townhouse across the street.

I must admit that moving across the street seems to be a hell of a lot easier than packing and moving across the state as we did a year and a half ago.

In the middle of all of this we deal with the every day issues - elections, heating system issues in the rental (now fixed), painters for the new home, a mother who had her 6th fall in 8 months, and my son moving back home.

Some how through all of this I have managed to maintain some small sense of serenity.  Even when my home was without heat on the main level I knew that when I climbed into bed under my covers with Sammy & Hercules at my feet (they're cats) and my Kindle I would be happy, serene and fall asleep content with the feeling that tomorrow will be better and it is.

Each day I start with a stretch, a couple of deep breaths and an excellent cup of coffee and begin again.

This is how to maintain serenity - one day at a time, one breath at a time.

I am looking forward to next week with movers, new appliances, a fabulous fundraising event for Power Up Gambia and settling into my own home, surrounded by beauty, family, pets and friends.

Maintain your Serenity each and every day

Serenity, Family and The Jewish New Year

This evening starts the celebration of Rosh Shana - the Jewish New Year.  It's a time to think about what has happened throughout the past year and look forward to the upcoming year.

This past year has brought forth a lot of change in my life - a new residence, new jobs for all of us (both kids and my husband), and health issues, but through it all I have tried sometimes successfully to maintain my level of serenity and happiness.

It has been comforting to be near my mother and sister and my children.  I have gained a lot of respect for my children both are now adults, my daughter recently changed her career path and is second in command/COO of a start-up Internet company, my son is currently an unemployed but brilliant artist whose has created posters and album art for several bands, he is currently trying to find work and applying for Master's Degree programs. I am very proud of them and honored to their mother.  Currently they are both hanging out in my living room involved in an in depth discussion of football (they are Fantasy Football opponents).

To me this is serenity - being surrounded by my family and celebrating the holidays.  As a part of this evening I will be hosting dinner at my home - it will be filled with family and friends, enjoying, eating, reminiscing, laughing and celebrating.

At this time of year I can overlook the meanness, the biting words, being ignored or dismissed and look only for the joy and happiness that I hope this year will bring.

But winning PowerBall would be a help as well.

To all that read this blog - L'Shana Tova - Happy Jewish New Year.
May your life be filled with happiness, health, joy and of course - Serenity!

Serenity is Mine to Keep: Serenity, Family and Mother's 83rd Birthday

Serenity is Mine to Keep: Serenity, Family and Mother's 83rd Birthday: Yesterday was August 4th, a very special day in my family.  In 1929 Doris Martin was born at home, the youngest of 3 sisters.  My mother and...

Serenity, Family and Mother's 83rd Birthday

Yesterday was August 4th, a very special day in my family.  In 1929 Doris Martin was born at home, the youngest of 3 sisters.  My mother and her sisters were first generation Americans, their father and mother were Russian Jews whose families were persecuted.

We celebrated my mother's birthday they way she wanted surrounded by family and friends at her synagogue on Sat morning and she was called up for an honor and to read from the Torah.  In the evening my sister had a relaxed dinner at her home ending with mother's favorite cake - Italian Rum Cake.  It was a day filled with laughter, chatting, eating, drinking, love and appreciation.  The only thing missing were 2 grandchildren who couldn't get away.

I have come to the conclusion that spending time surrounded by my family for the most part can be serene with moments of chaos.

By the way, last weekend I spent in New York City visiting and having fun and relaxation with my daughter.  The question on my mind how can anyone be serene in New York City, talk about chaos.  I know that the parks within and throughout the City provide a basis for a sense of serenity, but the city itself, no way.  So the key word in the paragraph was relaxation, not serenity.  I love New York City as a fun, exciting place to hang out, visit and play, but I am very happy to return to my home in the 'burbs, surrounded by greenery, grills, birds and the quietness of my home.

Serenity can be found in family, found in friends, found in religion, found in within your home and absolutely within yourself.