Serenity & Civility

So it's been a little while since I last posted and I have to say that over the past few weeks I have noticed an uptake in people being surly, mean, nasty and cold-hearted towards their fellow human beings.  It's disturbing and not at all in the realm of serenity.

What has happened to civility in the USA?

This past weekend was the first time in a while that discussions focused on the good of a person and that's only because he passed away.  At what point in our daily lives do we focus on the good of our world?

We need to bring back into focus civility in our daily lives, we need to look for the good and not overwhelm ourselves with nasty words, hatred and meanness.

It's exhausting and it's futile.  What does all this nastiness bring us, but more nastiness and more sadness.

During the past week I went on a mission with one of my siblings to visit the grave sites of our parents, grandparents, and several aunts who didn't have children.  It's amazing the sense of serenity you can find when standing before the tombstone of close member of the immediate family.  You want to believe that they have gone to a much better place, where there's no health issues, no outright hatred, no nasty voices just calmness and serenity.

The 3 different cemeteries we visited each had their own distinct feeling to them, but I think I was most moved by standing in front of my parents grave.  It was the anniversary of my mother's death, 1 year ago and as I stood there thinking back on how my mother gave of herself to others, how she was known throughout the community for what she gave back, not only financially but also of her time.  She was loved and honored by many, many people from her children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, students, friends and the community that surrounded her.  Not a week goes by when someone doesn't approach to tell me how much they miss my mother.  My father was the same way.

We need more people to be like my parents.  People to see the good in us. People who don't want to change the world but just make it a more civil place to live.

So my advice, go to the cemetery and stand before a loved one's grave and see if you can feel the serenity that surrounds you in that realm.  Think about what they would be feeling if they were still present in this volatile world.

In order to maintain serenity we must let go of the negative.  So instead of hurtful language, try a smile, instead of nastiness let's try civility.  It will bring us serenity.

Take a deep deep breath, close your eyes and feel the beauty that will always surround us if we let it.

Beautiful days, Serenity and Zen Gardens

Yesterday I visited the Shofuso Japanese House and Gardens located in Fairmount Park, Philadelphia.  It was a beautiful summer day to stroll through the house and the gardens.

Having never traveled to Japan, I have to say how impressed I was with how the home oozed calmness throughout and the gardens were a part of the home.

I came away with a sense of calmness and a feeling that my stress levels had magically been lifted away.  Every part of the home looked out onto the pond and gardens, there were multiple colors of green, beautiful large koi in gold and black, a few turtles, a small island in off to the side with a footbridge and at the pinnacle across from the open area was a small calm waterfall.  Hanging from the branches were wind chimes and mobiles.  One of the most amazing things was the gutter system, instead of a downspout was a metal interwoven chain systems and as the water cascaded down it was like a mini-waterfall.  I found this all very calming and very serene.  I came home wondering how I could install this feeling into my own home.

I realized as I am sitting in my home that there's no juxtaposition of nature into the walls that surround our homes today.  Yes, we have windows and sliding glass doors, but we tend to seal up our homes with air conditioning and heating.  The only way we bring nature into our homes is cut flowers and few potted plants.  So the question of the day, how can we incorporate nature into our surroundings.

It would be great if we could all rebuild our homes with courtyards and incorporate nature into the building, but that's not reality.  So what do you think?  Send me some ideas and I will be happy to post them out there to this magically blog world.

I plan to spend a lot more time sitting out on my deck, using my home office to sit outside and enjoy the sounds of the day.  Several years ago I had the opportunity to spend a summer in the mountains with a waterfall in my backyard and the Delaware River across the street.  I spend each morning drinking coffee and eating breakfast just listening to the waterfall, the evening was spent chatting with my neighbors while drinking wine on the decks outside, watching the deer, watching the birds, watching the dog play in the waterfall and just enjoying the world that surrounded us.

Enjoy the world around, go out and be a part of it, don't stay attached to your devices and locked into brick and mortar.  We need  to connect with the natural aspects of our daily world.  Stroll through beautiful gardens, walk around a lake, view a sunset or a sunrise.  ENJOY the beauty.

Find serenity by finding ways to connect with nature, finding ways to connect with your inner self, and finding ways to live a life filled with meaning, love and serenity.

Serenity, Summer (almost) and Superb Blooms

I just wandered through our garden photographing and documenting our early flower blooms, herbs and actually picked some of our early peas.  I find it very fulfilling to harvest our veggies.  There is a supreme sense of serenity in knowing that you have produced your own vegetables.

It's a joy to look out onto the deck each morning during breakfast and see the bounty of color adorning the deck flower boxes.  Even in the rain it's filled with beauty.

The month of June is always filled with wonder to me.  It's filled with family birthdays, an anniversary, father's day and even flag day.  It's also a month of next steps for families-graduations, moving out and beginning the next phases of our lives.  It's a time of travel and a time to relax and enjoy the beauty of the world that surrounds us.

So my recommendation - stop, take a deep breath, open your eyes and take in the beauty, the joy, the peacefulness that envelopes us.  Enjoy the rain, enjoy the thunder, enjoy the rainbows, enjoy the smells and simply enjoy.

By stopping and enjoying the world that surrounds us we will find our serenity.  So take my advice and stop for a moment.

Finding Serenity when a child is ill.

So it's been a while since I've posted but today's post is probably one of the most difficult posts I've done, because it's been very difficult to locate my serenity over the past month and it's even more difficult when your child is ill and then requires surgery.

My child is an adult, so it's not someone I can cuddle in my lap, but I have been able to rub his back, help him into his bathrobe, walk with him around the floor and just be there to listen to him complain, listen to him get frustrated and mother him when he needs it and a few times when he didn't but I did.

It's frustrating and un-nerving to know that you are some what helpless in these situations and those frustrations make it very difficult to find my serenity.  At various times through out the past 6 days I have taken time to walk alone outside to deep breath and try to focus on the positive. 

Once the current issues pass, he should be a relatively healthy individual who will be able to return to work, house remodeling, art and have a full life back surrounded by family and friends, but as of this evening it's hard to see past his pain and discomfort and as a parent that weighs on me heavily.

So how do I find my serenity?  It's easy to post that I have found a time each day to focus on the positive but that wouldn't really be true.  The day surgery happened I found no serenity until the surgeon appeared before us and stated that barring any complications surgery was successful and he should have a full recovery and that moment I took my first deep breath, but it didn't truly work until I saw him awake and laying in bed willing to smile and letting me hug him, that was the first chance I had to find a little serenity in the moment.  The past few days though have been a challenge while the doctors determine what causing an elevation in white blood cells (not a large change but a small one) and what we have had to deal with is:  frustration, anger and a lot of boredom.  Hospitals are noisy places filled with patients, families and caring staff.  I must say that the nurses at the hospital have gone out of their way to answer questions, be helpful and understanding they work long hours and never lose their cool.  I admire their dedication and compassion and I hope that they all have the ability to locate their serenity on their way home from work each day.

So back to the question of finding my serenity, it's difficult but each night as I've laid in bed I turn on music to lull me to sleep, breath deeply, close my eyes and repeat to myself that my family surrounds me joy and laughter and tomorrow I will wake up and see my child smiling in his hospital bed anxiously awaiting the news that he's been bumped out and being sent home to finish recuperating.  I sleep knowing that my life will return to it's daily serenity in a very short time.

Life is all about facing our challenges, illness is just one of the bumps in our road that we must negotiate our way through.  Challenges are their to show us how strong we can be even if we have doubt.  Life moves forward and we can always find that serenity even when it misses a day or two.

So in the face of a challenge take a couple of really deep breaths, turn on some music that we provide you with peace and locate your serenity.

Be filled with joy, face your challenges and find your serenity.

Traveling with a Purpose and the Serenity Found Within

I wanted to leave these 4 blog posts with some final thoughts on finding serenity, joy and appreciation for what we have in our daily lives.

Over the past few years I have had the honor, yes the honor to travel to Central America and now the Caribbean (post Hurricane) and see what most people who reside in the U.S.A. and other "civilized" countries never take the time to see.  We think that we know what "poverty" is and how lucky we are that we live in a country where we have homes, cars, lots of food, we can go out to restaurants when ever we want, we can go on vacations, etc, etc...but are we ever grateful that we have water, a roof over our heads, walls that stay up, electricity at our beck and call?  I think not.  Even as I write this blog, I'm not worried about the fact that my electricity is flowing though my laptop or that there is a glass of filtered water sitting in front of me, but I have seen many, many, many people in many areas of our own hemisphere where this is a daily concern.

When I went to the Civil Defense Group in Puerta Platta, Dominican Republic their unique building was actually without power that day due to grid issues on the island.  When asked about it they said it was a common occurrence, but they didn't seem to notice or be worried about the issue, they just mustered on and if you haven't thought about it also realize that no electricity means no water, water in these areas requires pumping and filtration all requiring electricity.

My take away from this "mission" cruise and other trips I have taken is that even though we would be overwhelmed by what we saw, I saw nothing but people going about their every day lives filled with joy that they live on a beautiful island, that they were surrounded by family, by friends, by strangers who care and by nature who maintains our balance in the world.  They do not focus on the negative, they focus on joy.  You hear it in the music, you hear it in their words, and you see it on their faces and in their souls.

Serenity can surround you at every turn in our life if you just let it in.  Don't focus on the negative, don't focus on what can't be accomplished, focus on nature, focus on the beauty of the world that surrounds us, focus on joy.  By focusing your mind, your soul will find serenity.  Of this I'm positive.

Traveling with a Purpose and the Serenity Found Within - Island #3 Puerta Platta/Amber Cove

To continue the serenity saga and mission cruise, the last island we traveled to was the Dominican Republic-Amber Cove Community in Puerta Platta.  Here we broke into 2 separate groups, 1 traveled to 3 separate locations for community interaction and the other group poured concrete flooring in 2 homes for families that lost everything during the hurricanes.

I will first write about my experiences in the larger community interaction group and then tell you about my spouse's experience with concrete flooring.

Not having known a lot about the Dominican Republic I learned that while Haiti (the other side of the island) has cut down most of their natural vegetation the D.R. has remained committed to maintain natural balance, the proof of this was in the last part of the day.

Our first stop was a school deep in the mountains up very rocky narrow roads.  Here the school kids were awaiting our arrival on their small play yard, they stood in a large circle around the perimeter and greeted us with hugs, handshakes and hellos and welcome (they spoke mostly Spanish) but this was all in English.  After some introductions and an interactive song with hand movements, also in Spanish we moved inside, small groups of our group with small groups of the kids.  Here we sat on the floor with the kids and taught them some English words using worksheets and pictures, they taught us the Spanish words and then drew pictures of what was taught for us to take home.  We then took a large group photo back in the play yard and hugged goodbye and moved onto the next stop.

The second stop was at a re-purposed train station, built in 1860s by the Germans to meet members of the Civil Defense for the Island.  This amazing group are all volunteers, they are tasked with maintaining a defense warning system with natural disaster is imminent.  They usually have about 80 volunteers at the ready at any given time, but during prior to the hurricane they swelled their ranks to several hundred in order to properly prepared.  They were an amazing group of men and women.  They were presented with 2 new high powered chain saws, to replace the ones that died in the aftermath of cleanup from the 2 hurricanes.

The third stop was one of my favorites of these 3 islands, here we visited a nature preserve high up in the hills.  The Dominican Republic is major producer of mahogany, as well as various tropical fruits, when the hurricanes hit a large portion of fully matured vegetation was destroyed a with that a way of life.  As cleanup began, they made the choice to collect as many seeds, seedlings and live shoots as possible from the mahogany trees and nurture them for replanting.  That's what we did.  We replanted 490 seeds and seedlings in less than a hour and half.  We also learned about an incredibly delicious fruit called sour sop, really odd looking outside and sticky gooey sweetness on the inside.

I promised you in the beginning that I would tell you about my husband's concrete flooring mission.  Along with about 30 others (including volunteers from the community and the cruise line staff) they mixed and laid down concrete floors in 2 homes that had been rebuilt just that morning by Habitat for Humanity volunteers.  Family #1 was a family of 7, mother, father and 5 kids, their home had been destroyed by the hurricanes, they picked up as many pieces as possible strung them together with tarps as their roof, not really full walls and lived that way until last week.  The home now has a kitchen, living/dining area, bathroom and 2 bedrooms (1 for the parents, 1 the kids).  They were overwhelmed with gratitude and through interpreters expressed their thanks.  While my husband was working on the floor, one of the young children came up to him and kept pointing at his ears, with a confused look on her face.  My husband realized that she had never seen hearing aids (his are actually quite small and in the ear), through an interpreter they explained to her what they were, she smiled, shook her head and moved onto the next thing.  My husband was very affected by this small interaction and I always believe that it's the small interactions that sometimes have the greatest effect on us.

The second family was a man who was 103 years old and lived in his house with his daughter and her family.

These experiences of moving within worlds that we don't usually inhabit provide us with the ability to not only help whose who need it most, but also see how overwhelmingly lucky we all are and how much we take it for granted in our every day lives.

This blog is about finding serenity in our lives and these experiences have enabled me to breath deeply, locate the joy the surrounds me and find serenity within myself.

Find your serenity by taking a hard look at the world that surrounds you and locating something inside that we give you the opportunity to give back!

Traveling with a Purpose and the Serenity Found Within Island #2-St. Thomas

Day 5(Island #2) of our the Cruise found us at U.S. Virgin Islands - St. Thomas.  This was the place that touched my heart the most.

Here we participated in 2 separate activities.  The first being a "Baby Shower", a health-fair and activities for 300 Headstart children.  Prior to the cruise beginning, Princess Cruise line sent out an email to all passengers with a link to a specific Amazon site that would allow them to purchase much need infant items for the under-served women of St. Thomas, the Fathom participants were also asked to purchase items through the site as well as bringing donated items with them (it was your choice, no one was required to participate in the donation process).  When we docked at St. Thomas a large section of the immediate area had been decorated with canopies and tents, balloons and signs that indicated a "BABY SHOWER" was going to happen.  There was also a RV for healthcare screens set up by the Health Ministry of the U.S. Virgin Islands, staffed by volunteer doctors and nurses, a youth steel drum band, a youth dance group and a incredible dancer on stilts in full Carnival Costume.  $15,000 worth of infant related items were donated by passengers, Fathom, Princess Cruises and Carnival Corporation.

The 110 volunteers were broken up into a couple of different groups, 2 groups staffed the distribution of baby supplies to the 300 women who came with their newborn babies and the 3rd group, which is where I was were assigned to, helped with the 300 3-4 year old children who had arrived by bus with a look of absolute fear and uncertainty on their faces.  Within a few minutes of sitting on the ground with them and listening to the music and chatting away their smiles broke through.  I sat with 3 3 year old kids who got facepainting of dragons (boys) and butterflies and flowers (girls), I took their photos with my IPhone, showed them the photos and watched them scroll through my other photos.  We laughed, we danced, we drank cups of water, we chatted about what we wanted to be when we grew up and when it was time to go I was surrounded my toddlers who hugged me and smiled.  They didn't care that they didn't have the latest and greatest new technology, they didn't care that they didn't get a juice package or cookies, or some new outfit, all they cared about was that they could dance, sing and hug strangers who cared for them over an hour and a half.

The 2nd stop was at a Boys and Girls Club, here we met with youth and teenagers who were happy that they got out of school for the day, who were enthralled to sit with us and tell us their stories of life before and after the hurricanes.  While they talked about how frightening it was during the actual storms, they also were quick to move onto what happened after during cleanup and a few of them mused that they were a little sorry when the schools reopened and they had to go back to their classrooms.  They didn't dwell on the lack of electricity (some places still haven't come back yet), but they did talk about missing pets, houses that were destroyed, families that are still separated, how places like the Boys and Girls Club have given them a place to find friends and be themselves for a few hours each day.  They spoke about their favorite sports, baseball, basketball and soccer.  I spoke with one young girl whose family had just bought a new home right before the storm but hadn't moved in yet and still have moved into it since it now has no roof and rats have taken residence in the home, they are living with other family members.  I asked her what her favorite subject was in school and she told me reading, she loved to read and that's what has helped her throughout these past few months.  She also told me she wanted to be a chef.  Specifically she wanted to be a chef with her own restaurant in Orlando Florida, because that where Disney World is.

The women who received supplies for their infants, the 300 Headstart kids, the people who visited the Health Screening RV, the youth dancers, steel drum band, the kids & teens at the Boys & Girls Club, they were filled with joy, filled with smiles and true appreciation for the kindness of a bunch of strangers.  There was no questions about why, there was none of the divisiveness that has plagued our country this past year, there was no talk about why the hurricanes happened or the recovery efforts afterward, it was simply smiles, thank yous and lots and lots of hugs.

How can an experience like this not fill a person with serenity?  I know that I returned to the ship wanting to do more, hug more, smile more.  When people asked me what I did on shore that day, I'm sure that I probably bored them with my experiences, but you what?  I don't really care because if they could feel the joy coming off me then I know that it was a successful day, actually it was successful because of the joy I felt whether or not a stranger felt it as well.

Feel the Serenity when you give of yourself to others surrounding you.

Check back tomorrow for the last of the Island experiences.

http://www.fathom.org