Serenity, Change and Forward Thinking

Each year as the new year starts everyone always asks, what are your resolutions for this new year and I say, "I don't do resolutions".  I've always thought that the term resolutions is a immediate set-up for failure, I really don't think anyone can say that they've accomplished all of their resolutions at the end of a year, but if you did-more power to you.  I'm very impressed.

So instead I always say, "that I'm going to work towards...that way I haven't exactly failed at my goals".

2024 will be an interesting year, I think.  We'll have a contentious election, no matter what side your on, we will still be in the midst of dangerous climate change weather systems, healthcare, economy, poverty, food insecurity and crime (the last 5 are all interconnected) and it's a driving force in what I choose to work towards - changing the dynamic.

So, you probably asking yourself, how does this actually relate to serenity?  Well, that's a complicated answer.  Every morning I wake up filled with hope for the day, but somewhere along the way, it gets murky and although by the time I get to the evening news I'm usually exhausted by the world around me.  Last evening it was filled with one horrifying story after another and it's not until the very end that you get a feel good story, usually about an unknown hero who's tried to make their corner of the world a little more joyous.  Why do we have to wait until 6:58 pm for this story?  I propose that we make our own story more compassionate, more joyous, and filled with just a little bit of daily serenity.

There's an old saying, "life is what you make it" I say let's make 2024 a year of compassion, let's attempt to find ways to help those in our local communities, give back, volunteer, and you will find serenity in the feeling of knowing that others in your circle have your friendship, your compassion, your caring.

Serenity is all around you if you just stop looking for the joys of your life.

Let me know your thoughts and comments.

INTROSPECTION, DECISIONS AND SERENITY

So, I've decided to restart writing my blog on serenity.  It's been quite a while since I lasted posted, mostly life has gotten in the way, but now things have calmed down to it's time to re-adjust and find my serenity once more.

As Thanksgiving approaches (tomorrow actually) I have started looking at what's next in my life.  Life is hard and day-to-day decisions can sometimes be overwhelming.  I'm one of those people that tries to list out pros vs cons.  If I choose this one what are the consequences but the COVID shutdowns that happened a couple of years ago have changed my approach to life.  I think that I have become less of a planner and am starting to take more of a gut approach to life, work, family, friends and commitments.

In the past year a close friend and a close cousin both became ill, one will hopefully be able to return to the life they had before, with some modifications, the other one although has the will and determination to carry on, my not survive the medical issues that have set their path.  

These 2 make me introspective, have I lived my life to the fullest or have I become complacent?  Have I really tried to live my best life or have I lived my life based on what others will think of me?  The answer to these questions is more than likely yes to all of it.  Now I believe the time has come for me to take control of my life, to try my best not to be so worried about how I will look to others, but how I look at myself.

In order to relocate my serenity I must stop the belief that I have to be available for everyone who needs me, that I have to keep going on projects that probably need a different perspective from a new person.  All my life I've believed that I couldn't let anyone down, my parents, my family, my friends, but the one person I was truly letting down was myself, because I didn't believe in myself, I always second guessed every answer, I always asked opinions even if I new the answer.  Now I'm in a much better place mentally, physically and emotionally.

I'm going into this Thanksgiving filled with joy, filled with compassion, filled with the belief that I can't do everything, I won't always make people happy, but that's their issue not mine.

Fill your life with the things that bring you joy, that's how you find serenity.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!🦃🦃🦃🦃 

Finding Serenity during the crazy, busy times in our lives.

 I know it's been forever since I published a post on serenity but life does get a little crazy sometimes.

In the past several months life has just gotten in the way of finding my towards serenity.  My home life balance is out-of-whack, my work life balance is out-of-whack, my health balance is out-of-whack and it took until Thanksgiving for me to realize that it's absolutely exhausting.

I have always been the person who has a tendency to put others feelings and best interests first pushing my own to the side.  For a while I stopped doing that but somehow it has crept back into my being.  So what to do about this:

    a)  First and most importantly, it took some time but I recognized that behavior before it's spiraled out of control.

    b)  Now that I have recognized the issue and I can return to bringing balance back into my daily life.

As of today, as I write this blogpost I have taken back my ability to see me, put myself and my best interests in living a life that has meaning foremost in my mind.

I have found that there are times when negativity that surrounds me.  I've chosen to no longer allow it to permeate my soul.  Sometimes the best course of action is to remove yourself from the equation and that's what I'm choosing to do.  I leave the room and walk away.  I find my quiet place, deep breathe and remove the negativity from surrounding me.  Is it hard to do, absolutely, because there are times when all I want to do is answer back,  yell and try to get my point across.  But, what I've learned is that when that much negative emotions swirl you stop listening and only react. Almost never a good option.  So in that case it's best to remove myself instead.

I find it works for me, it may not solve the problem but neither will a shouting match so instead I just keep moving forward.

Life sometimes is really hard, day-to-day conflicts are draining, we watch entertainment, read books, meet up with friends, take long walks or even exercise to remove ourselves from our stressors, but at least once a day we need to quiet our minds.  

Close your eyes, Move to a quiet spot, do a couple of deep, deep breathes and find a little bit of serenity to help you face the world on a daily basis. 

Photo by Lois - Alaska trip

Finding Serenity during these times of stress

So first let me apologize for the length of time between now and my last post.  Sometimes life just gets in the way.  But that being said, know that I have still maintained my ability to find some serenity in each and every day.

These past few weeks we have been reminded that peace and serenity are extremely fragile things in our world.  But each and every night when I watch the news or read a post about the horrors that Russia has rained down on Ukraine, I marvel at the stories of hope, faith and the ability to find just a small piece of joy and serenity in their lives.  A few nights ago they showed a clip of a young woman playing her violin, last night it was a very young girl singing in Ukrainian "Let it Go" from the movie "Frozen" both huddled in bomb shelters and then the clip was the young girl singing the Ukrainian national anthem at a concert (she and her family had escaped out of Ukraine, I don't know about the violinist, through).  This is the truest form of finding serenity, one I cannot even imagine.

As I think back on the past 2 years of the pandemic, it astounds me that our world is still filled with such hatred, disrespect, violence and out right meanness.  Why, is the question that keeps going round and round in my head.  There's no easy answer to that why, but is there a way to subdue it, to lessen it?

If you have any ideas or would just like to express your concerns, please feel free to post comments.

I have learned over the past year that it's best for me to turn off the "noise" mid evening, prepare for bed, read a few chapters of a romance novel and then listen to sleep meditations to lull me into the night.  By the time the lights are off and maybe a few minutes into the mediations, I'm usually fast asleep and I wake up each morning hoping that it will be a better day.  Some days are and some are not, but I will always try to end my day by finding my serenity, finding joy in some small aspect of the day and believing that we will always try to bring that serenity to others in our circle.

Find your joy!

Find your peace!

Find your serenity!

Sadness, Stress and Serenity

 So it's been a very stressful month for me personally.  In the past few weeks my work partner passed away suddenly, just simply dropped dead from a massive heart attack, a day later my cousin's wife was struck and killed by a car a block from where her husband was killed 4 years ago and I learned the stress of having to deal with a significant disruption to the workplace.

I will admit that this past 2 weeks have been enormously difficult to locate any serenity at all.  It has also made me very thoughtful about seizing the moment in my life.

Over the past week and a half I have spent a lot of time realizing just how little of ourselves we share with our family and friends.  My partner had a lot of knowledge about our operations stored in his head and since there was just the 2 of us I realize that I never took the responsibility to learn all his operational knowledge, I always thought that there would be more time.  This is what has me stressed, do I even have the capacity to learn everything I need for continuing our operations, or is best to bring closure to our center and try and move in a different direction.  This has been weighing on me very heavily.

This has also made me look at my own self.  How much of myself do I actually share and how much do I keep inside.  I have a fear of being judged, so instead I deflect away from my own issues and yes I've tried therapy, but when you have a fear of constantly being judged for your decisions, I don't really think that it was helpful since I probably didn't share the right things with the therapist.

There's a lot in the air right at the moment, but there is also a lot to be thankful for.  I have wonderful children who when they learned of the events of the past few weeks, make sure to text and call to ask me how I'm holding up.  I have siblings who do the same and spouse who knows I'm in distress.

All around me I am looking for the joy in the world.  My family is fully vaccinated, my husband's vegetable garden is starting to sprout and we have already picked a few strawberries from our patch.  The US is beginning to open back up, summer outdoor concerts are being announced and although we still have to wear masks ( I've actually gotten really comfortable wearing the mask) our lives are beginning to return.  But the question will be returning to what?

Will we ever to able to put aside our anger, our devisiveness, our meanness and find joy, happiness and serenity in our daily lives?  Each night as I attempt to find sleep and some calmness in my stressful day I try to think of little joys that came through, a phone call, a funny meme, a news store that focused on a happy outcome, this is what is helping me keep some serenity in my daily life.

Sorry, stress and sadness will eventually pass, it's up to us to move forward with joy and serenity.

Thanks for reading.

Find Serenity Each and Every Day of Your Life.

Finding Serenity might be a little easier.

 Although I've made mention in previous blogs about the chaotic nature of the world, I truly feel that today the world took a collective sigh and a deep cleansing breathe that hopefully we can began to heal on multiple levels.

I realized this morning watching the inauguration of our new president that for the first time in very long while it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders.  I know that I'm not in the political realm but we have all been cast in to it by circumstances.

Yes, there will be tough times ahead and yes we will still struggle to locate our serenity but perhaps it will be a little bit easier to find it this time.

I will be looking for my serenity during each and every day and I hope that my blog followers will do their best to locate theirs as well.

On this day of the collective sigh, be grateful for the ability to live in a democracy, find joy and bring serenity to our daily lives.

Look for a new blog soon.

Stay Safe, Stay Healthy and Find Your Serenity.

Serenity, Safety, Thankfulness and Beauty

 So, this is the week we begin to move into what they call the holiday season, with Thanksgiving being the lead in and this year it's even more of a gigantic question mark?  What do we have to be Thankful for?

In my opinion, a lot.  As each day passes and I look at the sunsets, the falling leaves, the sunshine out my window or even the rain pelting the roof, I'm grateful that I'm still healthy, that my spouse's surgery went well and that he's able to move around without crutches, that my family and that my extended family and friends are also doing okay.  But that said, there's so much stress in our lives that it sometimes seems to consume us.  There's the stress of being contained into one space - our homes, the stress of not being able to visit our family on anything other than online, the stress of simply not knowing what's next and the stress of not being able to hug your adult children or your grandchildren.  I miss being able to call a colleague, a friend, my sister and simply saying, "let's meet for lunch or a cup of coffee".  It's these small things that affect my daily being.

So what can you do to eliviate some of this toxic stress?  First off acknowledge that it's present and then take a deep breath, and do coffee on Zoom, FaceTime or whatever online site you use.  Sometimes all it takes is a few minutes of FaceTime with my daughter, son-in-law, grandson or my son to just bring a smile to my face and then I take a deep cleansing breath and find the space inside me that says this will end and life will return to some sort of normalcy.  But even as I write that word I wonder what does that mean?

Our world has changed and not for the better, we have become a much more discordant group of humans.  We have changed the way we interact with our neighbors, with our colleagues, with our friends and most of us have become, more hardened in our beliefs to the point where we no longer listen to other opinions, only our own seem to matter.  Why have we become the worst of us?

Now is the time for us to take a hard look at who we've become and how we can move back towards finding our serenity.  Thanksgiving has always been a time when we are supposed to look back over the past year and give thanks for what matters most in our lives, for me it's simple - what I'm thankful for is being able to find serenity in even the most contentious of times, being able to find my serenity wearing a mask when I go out, finding serenity when I get into round and round arguments with my spouse, with my kids, with my colleagues and with strangers in the grocery store.

After each of these times, I simply close my eyes, or walk outside onto my deck or grab my IPhone to snap a photo of the beauty, stillness and joy that surrounds me.

In times of stress, serenity is what we need most, so close your eyes, take a very very deep breath, and picture the beauty that surrounds you, be it, family, your pet, your comforting bedroom, I've even gone into my walk-in closet for peacefulness, or your deck outside and find your serenity deep within you. 

Have a joyous and beautifully serene Thanksgiving.